Wednesday, October 17, 2007




Monday, June 25, 2007

A Day at Nigeria House

Did you ever feel that your time was wasted by unnecessary and inefficient bureaucracy? If you have than this post will interest you...

Today I went to renew my passport at the Nigeria Consulate in New York. Normally, the visa department was situated before on the 8Th floor. They have moved it and put it in where used to be Nigeria Airways. You might ask what is wrong with that? Nothing except that they have refused to update the room. Broken furniture is scattered at the entrance of the room and old posters. The central air conditioner is obviously not functioning, instead they have this portable device that you would find in the banks in Nigeria .... it generates more noise than cold air.

We are greeted by an incompetent clerk who obviously wants to prove that he has more power than he actually has. What is my reason for this insult?Application forms are distributed there or you can print it out from the website and bring it with you with the appropriate fees a simple process you might say- Hell no!! Everything is a big song and dance. There is a ticket holder there but it is located in an inconspicuous area that hardly anyone notices. I notice it however because I know how they operate there. But I feel sorry for the people who have just collected a ticket from the guard area and think that is all they need. The clerk does not inform anyone just starts calling numbers amid a lot of confusion.

I feel as if I am in Nigeria already...

He collects the passport renewal form and tells me to come back tomorrow. Do you think I have off tomorrow to come back up to Manhattan pay $25.00 for garaged parking for 1 hour just to pick up a passport? Are you kidding me? It is not like they need a passport photo or anything just a stamp that renews by ten years with a written signature. Such a nonsensical process...

I just had to vent. I have less than a week to go and my nerves are completely frayed. I am filled with a lot of emotions, ranging from excitement to depression. I never feel as if I am prepared enough for what Nigeria has to offer. I am not looking forward to the long queues for fuel, the constant begging from people I don't even know. I am a generous person and not at all a tight fist. But there is no boundaries ever in Nigeria. Everything goes... it is definitely a free for all. Unless you are somebody in Nigeria you are left stranded.

Now I spend most of my times catching up on my workload, packing and repacking.... and just biding my time. I missed all of you guys through my blog absence. I will probably write more frequently in Nigeria than I do now. I will also post a lot of interesting pictures for all of you guys who cannot be there with me.

Now time to go do my blog rounds.....

Simply Gorgeous

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Nne's Bash 2- Final Temptation

Sorry, to all who have thought that I might have disappeared from the face of the Earth. Thank God I did not. My life is some kind of crazy whirlwind. Between work and packing and re-packing it has truly been chaotic. My poor S.O. Sexy! I told him don't worry it will be over soon and all the chaos will soon end when we land in Abuja and know we are in Nigeria by the continuous burning smell. Oh yes bloggers, did you know that every country has its own distinctive smell, just like people (chuckle)...I had to bring it to S.O. Sexy's attention. Even my Little Gorgeous is getting tired she has began to be very clingy.

I am looking forward to seriously eating all of my favorite foods. I am going to sink my dentures into goat meat pepper soup. There is nothing like eating goat meat pepper soup in Nigeria. The fire in your mouth that travels down your throat and sits in your belly is on a whole other level.

Whew... just thinking about it makes me sweat. This time hopefully I won't have to stay in the hotel for 3 months like I did before just two weeks this time. Hopefully, my house will finally be completed. Let's pray!

OK I promised you the jist on the party. I know , I know... you guys have been more than patient. I am eternally grateful. Ok, so where was I.

Yes, I remember...Sola my friend I don't know what happened to this girl.. She must have been intoxicated. Earlier , in the night I have seen Sola and she was not looking happy either. She was tired of being harassed, pulled on- groped. She even cursed out this guy so badly I even felt sorry for his mother. You should have seen the way Sola has dealt with this guy.

By the way remind me not to get into any arguments with her.

She was like, " SG I am done tired, past tired." " We need to go". Mind you this is 15 minutes after we just got there. I said" Sola, we have just got here. " She said, " I know but.... (starting to pout) I don't like this housewarming o.... what is this?" I told her to keep her voice down after all she does not want to offend Nne. She said, "ok sha but if I must stay here by force at least let me go enjoy myself" and that is exactly what she did.

She went and drank some champagne. I counted, 1....2.....3....( are you trying to kill yourself Sola....) sucking her teeth at me...4.......5...( hilariously laughter)....6( I don't feel that well) .She said," I am going to use the rest room"....wobbled legs followed by hilariously laughter. I don't think she will believe me so thank God I have taken pictures.....

I told you earlier, I have spotted a Boris in the making. I can feel all the hairs on my arms standing up. I was already in flight or fright mode. I can sense danger a mile away. I tried my best to pretend I did not even notice him- which by the way was extremely hard. This guy had such sexy eyes I see I might get into trouble tonight.

Let me describe this guy to you ladies.... smooth chocolate complexion skin, overnight stubble after he has not shaved for maybe a day- that rugged look, dressed in tan linen shirt and matching trousers, a low all around haircut with naturally jet black curls, and full lips just gorgeous....but the most striking aspect is definitely his eyes a greenish/ brown in color. Very unusual. I am attracted to guys with beautiful eyes not necessarily the color all the time but most of the time it is the shape. But if they have the shape and the color- forget it I am dead. With S.O. Sexy his shape of his eyes are small and slanted with the color I can't even describe it .. the best I can do is -it is the color of honey.

Anyway, this guy comes and sits down next to me. He gives me a short hello, and proceeds to scan the room. I take in his odor. Simply great, a clean fresh scent. I am dying slowly...... He turns and flashes me a smile filled with completely aligned white dentures..... with ten pound dimples and ladies brace yourself a cleft... (whew- I am finished!!!- completely finished!!! I am really nervous now. He introduces himself as J. But his accent is not Nigerian- he is from Trinidad.

I smile at him, and we start a conversation. He said wow, " there is so many dudes in this joint". I say, " I just thought it was me." This guy is making me so uncomfortable. For the simple reason, I am sure he checked me out before he came to sit down but sitting next to me he is not looking at anything else but my face. I can see his gaze following my lips and looking intently into my eyes. His gaze alone... I tell you... we were talking so long as if we knew each other for so long. Then it happens, he said" you are so striking, and classy." Which is very rare.... " Can I get you something to drink?" No, I am fine, thank you. I still was holding my Coke. I do not drink alcohol at all. ( Different story). He scans me with his eyes. I know I was looking fab. I had on a black silk dress, not revealing at all- but maybe that is what men found most appealing. My black pearls with matching earrings, and my hair swept to the back over my shoulders.

He said" Can I get your # so we can talk some more?" I am sorry J, " I can't." Than is when Sola came after spending about 30 minutes in the bathroom. A sloppy drunk... she looks like she has seen hell 20 times. Sola is extremely beautiful- a natural beauty she does not need makeup or anything spectacular to look beautiful. She said," SG, are you ready?" I saw Sola take a double take even in her drunken state, I know she noticed this fine specimen sitting beside me." " SG, are you going to call S.O. to pick us up?" J, was like who is S.O.? I said "S.O. is my husband." You are married? Yes, I am. I showed him my wedding band. "Happily, that why I told you I can't." Even though I said happily I felt miserable at that moment. I know it is a horrible thing to say. But I did. He looked confused and disappointed.

I introduced him to Sola.... Sola this is J, J this is Sola. Sola looked pleased and turned oh her seductive cat mode. Even in her drunken state she was working it. What a night! I asked J if he could drop her home since we did come in her car. He obliged my request. Sola looked like a kid on Christmas day- seriously. I was at least happy for Sola I have done my part she owes me big time.

I told Nne her party was great but I had to leave. Sola was ill. NNe took one look at Sola and abused her so badly. She saw J and whispered in my ear" he is such a hottie" I told her don't remind me. I called S.O. Sexy and he came to get me. How was your night" Interesting". Was all I could muster. He gave me a gentle kiss on my cheek and opened the car door for me. Look who has been waiting for you.... I turn in the back seat and there she is my little gorgeous....

By the way, Sola has gotten home safely. J and her are going on their third date this week......

Thursday, May 31, 2007

1st Meme- 60 Questions

I apologize to all my fellow bloggers for my absence. I have been running Helter skelter like a madwoman still trying to get myself together. Countdown has begun to my trip to Naija. I am excited and terrified at the same time.

I will post the second Nne's Bash very shortly. It is a long jist but very worth it. Trust....

I pulled these questions off of T- Minx site. Thanks T- Minx I will give you all the credits.

1.What time did you get up this morning?

4:00 am

2. Diamonds or pearls?

Definitely pearls. They are more classy and they are my birthstone...

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

SpiderMan 3. A waste of time. I could have waited until it came out on video.

4. What is your favorite TV show?

Hands down King of Queens. Hilarious.

5. What did you have for breakfast?

Boiled yams with stew and goat meat with green tea. Yummy....

6. What is your middle name?

It means one who sees the sun first... (Hindu)

7. What is your favorite cuisine/meal?

Stew with goat meat , edikaikon and plantains

8. What foods do you dislike?


9. Your favorite Potato chip?


?10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?

Calypso cd- Jungle mix...

11. What kind of car do you drive? Right now?

An Acura MDX- black- sweet....

12. Favorite sandwich?

Turkey on a roll with lettuce, tomatoes, salt/pepper/vinegar and lettuce with mayo.

13. What characteristics do you despise?

Conceited, loud and obnoxious people. And oh- ghetto fabulous...

14. Favorite item of clothing?

My black lace senegalese style outfit

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?

India and China.

16. What color is your bathroom?

White and Grey

17. Favorite brand of clothing?

Brooks Brothers and Ann Taylor.

18. Where wouldI like to retire?

Nigeria of course....

19. Favorite time of day?


20. Where were you born?

A hot tropical place where the people are friendly.

21. Favorite sport(s) to watch?

a/ Squash

b/ Track and Field

c/ Boxing

22. Who do you least expect to respond to this?

I don't know

23. Person you expect to respond first?

My fellow bloggers

24. What laundry scent do you use?

Lavender and Camomile

25. Coke or Pepsi?

Definitely Coke.

26. Are you a morning person or night owl?

A night owl

27. What size shoe do you wear? 9 (American)

28. Do you have pets?

4 Dogs- 2 here and 2 in Nigeria.

1 chow chow
1 poodle

2 German shepherds

29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone?

I am travelling to Naija....

30. What did you want to be when you were little?

An artist.

31. Favorite Candy Bar?


32. What is your best childhood memory?

Going to the park with my Dad and my sister.

33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life?

Next question. TMI.

34. What color/type underwear are you?

CK boxers for girls lace black


Hmm.. She-ra, Perv.... Gorgeous...(smile)

36. Piercings ?

Two in each ear. I used to have my nose pierced but it closed up with no indication it was ever pierced.

37. Eye color?


38. Ever been to Africa?

Stupid question.

38b) Ever been to South Australia? No

39. Ever been toilet papering or rolling?


40. Love someone so much it made you cry?


41. Been in a car accident?

yes. Not me driving. One I was in the car con mi madre. The next was I was riding my bicycle and a man hit me head on with his station wagon. Can you say ouch....

42. Croutons or bacon bits?


43.Favorite day of the week?


44. Favorite restaurant?

Hmmm.. tough it is a tie between Peter Luger steakhouse and Africana soul food cafe ( Blessing you are the bomb!!!)

45. Favorite flower?

Hands down White roses.

46. Favorite ice cream?

Haagen Daz Vanilla Bean

47. How many times did you fail your driver's test?


48. What color is your bedroom carpet?

Hardwood floors no carpet.

49. How many times did you fail your driver's test?

I said never are you deaf...

50. Before this one, from whom did you get your last email?


51. Which stores would you choose to max out your credit card?

Definitely Victori Secret or La Perla.

52. What do you do most often when you are bored?

Read or Watch Tv

53. Bedtime? 1 am

54. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? Everyone

55. Last person you went to dinner with?

Mi esposo.

56. What are you listening to right now?

Real World Las Vegas.

57. What is your favorite color?


58. Lake, Ocean or river?


59. How many tattoos do you have?


60. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

I am not God I don't know.

My personal comment : Too many Damn' questions....hmmph....

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Nne 's Bash

Why are men such horn balls? I am sure you want to know why such a visceral reaction...Ok, you have twisted my arms I will tell you.

I went by my friend Nne "get together" that she was throwing on Saturday. No special occasion- she was tired of suffering through winter and she wanted to throw some function.

I arrived there fashionably late with my friend Sola. I walked through the door and I knew there was going to be problems. First of all, there were more guys than there were ladies and it was a big thing-o. The second problem, what is my name?

Should I say more...

Guys were breaking their necks staring at me like if I was some kind of meat. I instinctively felt like bolting out of there. Nne was like" SG you look drop dead gorgeous, where is SO? Don't tell me you and Sola came here alone. " I said you never told me it was a New Year bash you were throwing." She said you know how Nigerians are, you invite one and they bring ten". We both laughed at that, because we knew it was true.

She look around nervously, "Are you going to be ok, I have mace." I was stunned. I responded, "Is it that bad." She just said, "enjoy sha and let me know if anyone messes with you."

I met all sorts. One guy approached me his line was so whack. I mean even if I was not available not even on my worst day this guy had no chance.

I will indicate his lines in red and mine in black from now on.

LOSER: WOW, Are you a model?


LOSER: Are you Nigerian?

I was looking at this guy as if he was a retard and shifting uncomfortably in my seat....(By the way I never bothered to answer him)

LOSER: What does a guy have to do to go out with you?

SG: I am not interested. I am married.

LOSER: I don't believe you are married. I know how you girls like to say they are married even when they are not....

SG: (looking at this guy as if he was a born retard) If a woman tells you she is married and she is not- then more than likely she is not interested. Excuse me...

I proceeded to get off from my seat. That is when I saw at least 5 more losers trying to approach me with very similar lines....

Is it a crime for a woman to go out and hang by her friends party without being harassed... At a certain time I looked like I had a serious screw face all the time. No one approached me any longer until...our eyes met.

He had to be one of the most gorgeous men I have ever seen. A Boris definitely in the making.... ( but I will save this jist for Part 2)

I saw Nne enjoying her party... I asked her what kind of party is she having as if all of these men are just here to pick up babes... she laughed and agreed with me. She was loving it, she was still single and looking for a hubby. At 5'3 " and a Nia knock-off she was in no short supply. As beautiful as she is she was always meeting weirdos...(go figure)

Anyway, I am tired of writing so bloggers stay tuned for Part 2.....

Oh, before I forget:



Did you hear about the Nigerian man who bit off his wife's lip in an argument, and they could not reattach it? This is serious... all because she called him short.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Gorgeous days

I am so sorry that I have been away from blogging so long. I have missed all of you. Work has been very laborious and taxing on my nerves. Is it too late for me to scream. AAAAARRRRGHHH!!! ( screaming to the top of my lungs).

Preparing for travelling is a very stressful situation. I cannot tell you the last time I had a "gorgeous "day. Where I pamper myself. I miss those times.

What is an ideal "gorgeous " day you may ask. Watching all of my favorite programs ... I love Naija movies, just love it... also I love being outdoors-running, walking or just reading. That to me is an ideal situation.

The best " gorgeous" day I ever had was when I went to Kontagora with S.O. Sexy. We have heard about this nice hotel there and since I have never went there before we decided to go. Everything that could have possibly went wrong on that trip did. The hotel was once inhabited by ex-architectural Americans who were living in the quarters that they have constructed.

Each bungalow consisted of three bedrooms and it was very romantic that it looked like individual cottages that had paths to connect to the other bungalows. There were about 14 of these such bungalows and a main reception area that also had a restaurant . They also had a Olympic sized swimming pool ideal you might say- wrong!!! The pool had no water, the rooms were uninhabited for so long that they had dead lizards and flying insects all over the place...I laughed I had no choice or else I would have definitely cried.

I am a firm believer if life offers me lemons then I will make lemonade- and so that is exactly what I did. Instead, of looking at the bad in the situation I set out too have the best time ever. And surprisingly enough I did. We had this quirky bellman who also by the way served as the cook. He presented us with a menu full of tasty things only to be let down with " sorry ma, we don't have that" and when he would utter these phrases he would move his head like an Indian side to side. I asked for spaghetti bolognaise again "sorry ma, we don't have that". This phrase was repeated about six times-so finally I said just bring me what you have and he did chips and chicken....(Good Grief)...

I was just too tired to argue. We wanted to see the nightlife of Kontagora for a bit but the driver did not return with the vehicle right away. So we walked around the compound at night just gazing at the moon and the stars that seemed to be everywhere. We even headed out and sat on some rocks at the edge of the compound and occasionally were distracted by the bright lights of the oncoming traffic. We did not even consider getting bitten by snakes that is how engrossed we were in our conversation and just in each others company. Our driver has finally returned and we went out to the main city and bought suya with some bread and had it with some Ovaltine. It was wonderful! Later, S.O.Sexy would tell me that was the day he would have no other woman for his wife but me....So you see how can that not be a "gorgeous"moment....

Friday, April 20, 2007

Final Addiction

I want to thank all of the contestants for their continual participation. The finalists are no other than Cherub and Law Damsel.

Thanks to all of the other contestants in the semis- JJ and Temmy Tayo. You gals were great!

Here are the final questions. As noted before this is an elimination round. We can have only one winner....

First Question:

1. Name three things that you are not prepared to do to keep your relationship?

2. Name one thing that you have done for someone or an organization for which you have not
been paid or required to do.

Good luck to all of the contestants. Please be as specific as possible when you are answering the questions.