Monday, June 25, 2007

A Day at Nigeria House

Did you ever feel that your time was wasted by unnecessary and inefficient bureaucracy? If you have than this post will interest you...

Today I went to renew my passport at the Nigeria Consulate in New York. Normally, the visa department was situated before on the 8Th floor. They have moved it and put it in where used to be Nigeria Airways. You might ask what is wrong with that? Nothing except that they have refused to update the room. Broken furniture is scattered at the entrance of the room and old posters. The central air conditioner is obviously not functioning, instead they have this portable device that you would find in the banks in Nigeria .... it generates more noise than cold air.

We are greeted by an incompetent clerk who obviously wants to prove that he has more power than he actually has. What is my reason for this insult?Application forms are distributed there or you can print it out from the website and bring it with you with the appropriate fees a simple process you might say- Hell no!! Everything is a big song and dance. There is a ticket holder there but it is located in an inconspicuous area that hardly anyone notices. I notice it however because I know how they operate there. But I feel sorry for the people who have just collected a ticket from the guard area and think that is all they need. The clerk does not inform anyone just starts calling numbers amid a lot of confusion.

I feel as if I am in Nigeria already...

He collects the passport renewal form and tells me to come back tomorrow. Do you think I have off tomorrow to come back up to Manhattan pay $25.00 for garaged parking for 1 hour just to pick up a passport? Are you kidding me? It is not like they need a passport photo or anything just a stamp that renews by ten years with a written signature. Such a nonsensical process...

I just had to vent. I have less than a week to go and my nerves are completely frayed. I am filled with a lot of emotions, ranging from excitement to depression. I never feel as if I am prepared enough for what Nigeria has to offer. I am not looking forward to the long queues for fuel, the constant begging from people I don't even know. I am a generous person and not at all a tight fist. But there is no boundaries ever in Nigeria. Everything goes... it is definitely a free for all. Unless you are somebody in Nigeria you are left stranded.

Now I spend most of my times catching up on my workload, packing and repacking.... and just biding my time. I missed all of you guys through my blog absence. I will probably write more frequently in Nigeria than I do now. I will also post a lot of interesting pictures for all of you guys who cannot be there with me.

Now time to go do my blog rounds.....

Simply Gorgeous

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Nne's Bash 2- Final Temptation

Sorry, to all who have thought that I might have disappeared from the face of the Earth. Thank God I did not. My life is some kind of crazy whirlwind. Between work and packing and re-packing it has truly been chaotic. My poor S.O. Sexy! I told him don't worry it will be over soon and all the chaos will soon end when we land in Abuja and know we are in Nigeria by the continuous burning smell. Oh yes bloggers, did you know that every country has its own distinctive smell, just like people (chuckle)...I had to bring it to S.O. Sexy's attention. Even my Little Gorgeous is getting tired she has began to be very clingy.

I am looking forward to seriously eating all of my favorite foods. I am going to sink my dentures into goat meat pepper soup. There is nothing like eating goat meat pepper soup in Nigeria. The fire in your mouth that travels down your throat and sits in your belly is on a whole other level.

Whew... just thinking about it makes me sweat. This time hopefully I won't have to stay in the hotel for 3 months like I did before just two weeks this time. Hopefully, my house will finally be completed. Let's pray!

OK I promised you the jist on the party. I know , I know... you guys have been more than patient. I am eternally grateful. Ok, so where was I.

Yes, I remember...Sola my friend I don't know what happened to this girl.. She must have been intoxicated. Earlier , in the night I have seen Sola and she was not looking happy either. She was tired of being harassed, pulled on- groped. She even cursed out this guy so badly I even felt sorry for his mother. You should have seen the way Sola has dealt with this guy.

By the way remind me not to get into any arguments with her.

She was like, " SG I am done tired, past tired." " We need to go". Mind you this is 15 minutes after we just got there. I said" Sola, we have just got here. " She said, " I know but.... (starting to pout) I don't like this housewarming o.... what is this?" I told her to keep her voice down after all she does not want to offend Nne. She said, "ok sha but if I must stay here by force at least let me go enjoy myself" and that is exactly what she did.

She went and drank some champagne. I counted, 1....2.....3....( are you trying to kill yourself Sola....) sucking her teeth at me...4.......5...( hilariously laughter)....6( I don't feel that well) .She said," I am going to use the rest room"....wobbled legs followed by hilariously laughter. I don't think she will believe me so thank God I have taken pictures.....

I told you earlier, I have spotted a Boris in the making. I can feel all the hairs on my arms standing up. I was already in flight or fright mode. I can sense danger a mile away. I tried my best to pretend I did not even notice him- which by the way was extremely hard. This guy had such sexy eyes I see I might get into trouble tonight.

Let me describe this guy to you ladies.... smooth chocolate complexion skin, overnight stubble after he has not shaved for maybe a day- that rugged look, dressed in tan linen shirt and matching trousers, a low all around haircut with naturally jet black curls, and full lips just gorgeous....but the most striking aspect is definitely his eyes a greenish/ brown in color. Very unusual. I am attracted to guys with beautiful eyes not necessarily the color all the time but most of the time it is the shape. But if they have the shape and the color- forget it I am dead. With S.O. Sexy his shape of his eyes are small and slanted with the color I can't even describe it .. the best I can do is -it is the color of honey.

Anyway, this guy comes and sits down next to me. He gives me a short hello, and proceeds to scan the room. I take in his odor. Simply great, a clean fresh scent. I am dying slowly...... He turns and flashes me a smile filled with completely aligned white dentures..... with ten pound dimples and ladies brace yourself a cleft... (whew- I am finished!!!- completely finished!!! I am really nervous now. He introduces himself as J. But his accent is not Nigerian- he is from Trinidad.

I smile at him, and we start a conversation. He said wow, " there is so many dudes in this joint". I say, " I just thought it was me." This guy is making me so uncomfortable. For the simple reason, I am sure he checked me out before he came to sit down but sitting next to me he is not looking at anything else but my face. I can see his gaze following my lips and looking intently into my eyes. His gaze alone... I tell you... we were talking so long as if we knew each other for so long. Then it happens, he said" you are so striking, and classy." Which is very rare.... " Can I get you something to drink?" No, I am fine, thank you. I still was holding my Coke. I do not drink alcohol at all. ( Different story). He scans me with his eyes. I know I was looking fab. I had on a black silk dress, not revealing at all- but maybe that is what men found most appealing. My black pearls with matching earrings, and my hair swept to the back over my shoulders.

He said" Can I get your # so we can talk some more?" I am sorry J, " I can't." Than is when Sola came after spending about 30 minutes in the bathroom. A sloppy drunk... she looks like she has seen hell 20 times. Sola is extremely beautiful- a natural beauty she does not need makeup or anything spectacular to look beautiful. She said," SG, are you ready?" I saw Sola take a double take even in her drunken state, I know she noticed this fine specimen sitting beside me." " SG, are you going to call S.O. to pick us up?" J, was like who is S.O.? I said "S.O. is my husband." You are married? Yes, I am. I showed him my wedding band. "Happily, that why I told you I can't." Even though I said happily I felt miserable at that moment. I know it is a horrible thing to say. But I did. He looked confused and disappointed.

I introduced him to Sola.... Sola this is J, J this is Sola. Sola looked pleased and turned oh her seductive cat mode. Even in her drunken state she was working it. What a night! I asked J if he could drop her home since we did come in her car. He obliged my request. Sola looked like a kid on Christmas day- seriously. I was at least happy for Sola I have done my part she owes me big time.

I told Nne her party was great but I had to leave. Sola was ill. NNe took one look at Sola and abused her so badly. She saw J and whispered in my ear" he is such a hottie" I told her don't remind me. I called S.O. Sexy and he came to get me. How was your night" Interesting". Was all I could muster. He gave me a gentle kiss on my cheek and opened the car door for me. Look who has been waiting for you.... I turn in the back seat and there she is my little gorgeous....

By the way, Sola has gotten home safely. J and her are going on their third date this week......