Nne 's Bash

Why are men such horn balls? I am sure you want to know why such a visceral reaction...Ok, you have twisted my arms I will tell you.


I went by my friend Nne "get together" that she was throwing on Saturday. No special occasion- she was tired of suffering through winter and she wanted to throw some function.

I arrived there fashionably late with my friend Sola. I walked through the door and I knew there was going to be problems. First of all, there were more guys than there were ladies and it was a big thing-o. The second problem, what is my name?

Should I say more...

Guys were breaking their necks staring at me like if I was some kind of meat. I instinctively felt like bolting out of there. Nne was like" SG you look drop dead gorgeous, where is SO? Don't tell me you and Sola came here alone. " I said you never told me it was a New Year bash you were throwing." She said you know how Nigerians are, you invite one and they bring ten". We both laughed at that, because we knew it was true.

She look around nervously, "Are you going to be ok, I have mace." I was stunned. I responded, "Is it that bad." She just said, "enjoy sha and let me know if anyone messes with you."

I met all sorts. One guy approached me his line was so whack. I mean even if I was not available not even on my worst day this guy had no chance.

I will indicate his lines in red and mine in black from now on.

LOSER: WOW, Are you a model?

SG: NO. (SHOWING LACK OF INTEREST)

LOSER: Are you Nigerian?


I was looking at this guy as if he was a retard and shifting uncomfortably in my seat....(By the way I never bothered to answer him)

LOSER: What does a guy have to do to go out with you?

SG: I am not interested. I am married.


LOSER: I don't believe you are married. I know how you girls like to say they are married even when they are not....


SG: (looking at this guy as if he was a born retard) If a woman tells you she is married and she is not- then more than likely she is not interested. Excuse me...


I proceeded to get off from my seat. That is when I saw at least 5 more losers trying to approach me with very similar lines....


Is it a crime for a woman to go out and hang by her friends party without being harassed... At a certain time I looked like I had a serious screw face all the time. No one approached me any longer until...our eyes met.

He had to be one of the most gorgeous men I have ever seen. A Boris definitely in the making.... ( but I will save this jist for Part 2)

I saw Nne enjoying her party... I asked her what kind of party is she having as if all of these men are just here to pick up babes... she laughed and agreed with me. She was loving it, she was still single and looking for a hubby. At 5'3 " and a Nia knock-off she was in no short supply. As beautiful as she is she was always meeting weirdos...(go figure)


Anyway, I am tired of writing so bloggers stay tuned for Part 2.....

Oh, before I forget:

I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT EX-SCHOOL NERD HAS BEEN A CHEATER!!!

UGO WE NEED TO HOLD A COMPETITION TO LOOK FOR A WIFE FOR YOSH....(SMILE)

Did you hear about the Nigerian man who bit off his wife's lip in an argument, and they could not reattach it? This is serious... all because she called him short.